The minister in the mirror

1) Before you go

This class gives a great opportunity to look back upon myself and my ministry. Come to think of it, I met so many pastors and clergy who were on TV, radio, movie, books and so on even social media such as Twitter and Facebook. Without a doubt, I was influenced by them even fictional clergy in cultural representation who were portrayed in a negative way or a positive way. However, I didn't realize how much I was influenced by them.

When I went through this class, I had a chance to analyze and evaluate my ministry and myself with cultural representation of clergy. I want to tell a story about me as a minister and how my ministry was impacted by clergy in popular media. Before you go on, I want you to see the picture below to understand me and my ministry. 

 

2)No-go minister 

I first heard the term “No-go” when I joined the Army as a chaplain. This term was impressive because it clearly show what it means. During the chaplain basic officer course, when instructors were talking about some test, they usually referred to it as “Go/ no go.”

During training

  In general go/no go testing refers to a pass/fail test principle. The test is passed only when the Go condition is met and fail if it met the No-go condition. I tried hard not to get a “No-go” on every test and had finally “Go”

 However, sometimes I felt like I got a “no-go” where I served and am still serving as a pastor.  I first considered becoming a pastor in the 4th grade after reading a book on the biography of Albert Schweitzer who was a medical missionary in Africa. In a young boy’s eyes, serving God and helping people looked great and worthwhile comparing to other jobs. 

 I was amazed at what he has done and his selfless heart and sacrifice to help others. From that time, a glimpse of being a minister and its way of life and how I should live flashed through my mind. I was not forced to be a minister but the book had a big impact on me to become like him.  So I wanted to be a medical missionary just like him. I think this is the first time that I was exposed to clergy in a cultural representation. 

Albert Schweitzer biography

I wanted to be a doctor but unfortunately I realized I was not smart enough to go to medical school when I was in my high school. This was the first time that I failed to become who I wanted to be which was a No-go.  So I entered a bible college at the suggestion of my pastor and my parents. When I was a freshman of that college, I had a chance to apply for Korean Army Chaplain. If I could pass the test, I would get some scholarship and become a Korean Army Chaplain after graduation.

I remember a book which was in my father’s bookshelf. It was about Korean soldiers who were outstanding in the Korean War. My father was a Korean Army officer so it was easy to read that kind of books. There was a story about a Marine Chaplain who cared and encouraged his soldiers. His activities were very interesting and inspired me to be like him. So I applied for the Chaplaincy but I failed again to be who I wanted to be which was another No-go.

My father and I, 40 years later my son and I

After I get my M.Div degree in Seoul Theological University, I wanted to study more in the U.S to become a teacher. But I couldn’t make it. I failed again to be who I wanted to be which was a No-go again.

When I came fully into a place of ministry in 2003, I was not quite well prepared as a local church pastor because I wanted to be a missionary, a chaplain and a teacher, but not a local church pastor. During my time as an intern pastor, I learned about church administration, how to coordinate and operate church programs, how to grow the church and how to maintain a church as a religious institution.

I feel like from the late 80s’ through early 2000, one of the most important issues in Korean churches was regarding church growth. Even  before I attended the Bible college I often heard the name “Donald McGavran” His books and lessons madking me believe that church growth is God’s will. 

As a minister, I thought I had to do something for God’s will. My friends and I talked about church growth and how to increase our ministry in order for the church to grow. There were so many church ministry seminars which taught about how to grow a local church. There were many books about successful church growth.

Megachurch pastors on TV and radio made people believe that church growth would be a barometer for a successful ministry and God’s blessings. I kind of agreed with them and thought that it would be good to have a big church.

At that time, many pastors including myself thought that a church and its pastors had a responsibility to get its church members to be blessed. And some pastors asked their people bring more offerings so that they could be blessed more. If a church didn’t grow, people would think that their pastors were not working well. Successful pastors were welcomed everywhere because people thought those pastors had the ability to bring many blessings. Many pastors mimicked the gestures and tone of the so-called successful pastors in their own preaching.

 When I was growing up, TV was not a popular media to evangelize to people. At that time, Korea had just 3-5 public channels. So churches used cassettes tapes, books and fliers to evangelize to people and those materials were good chances to take a peek at those megachurches and their pastors’ ministries.

The philosophies and skill of pastoring that I learned were shaped at that time. My peer pastors and I worked hard sacrificing everything to make churches grow. I felt like a church was like a company which made strategies to achieve their goal. And I was working for the company called a church. Even professors in the Bible college addressed pastoring as a spiritual business which should earn some profit no matter what for survival.

one of a megachurch in Korea  

After I was fully involved in my ministry after 2000, I realized the tools and philosophies of ministries I have learned were not working well and some things were not even biblical. The more I tried to apply what I have learned to my ministry, the more I encountered blockages and complaints which were very difficult to handle. I dreamed of a dramatic growth of my church where the church’s congregation would be richly blessed and have all their prayers answered. 

However, in reality, there was no phenomenon in which we could see on TV or the popular media. The more I worked, the more I felt like I was getting behind which seemed like a No-go.

 

3) Can you go?  

        After I came to America, I had a lot of opportunities to watch and listen to how American ministers work. Many TV channels, internet radio channels, books, movies and so on, I easily access their resources and learn gladly what they have and how they work. I am following them through social media. Many Christian also enjoy Christian culture on mass media.

They are doing a good job and there are many things I want to learn from them. They became the mirror through which I see myself. Even fictional clergy gives me much emotional catharsis. I laughed at them and was sad for them. I felt like some fictional clergy were a reflection of myself. After I watched “Hallelujah(1929)” I was frustrated as if I were him. After I watched “Going my way” I was delighted and happy as if O’Malley was my friend.   

All ministers in these representations are like friends and teachers who show the way I have to walk and the way I shouldn’t walk as well. And all of these representations tell me what people outside of the church want me as a minister and their expectation.

All representations in the media are useful to my ministry and self-understanding as a minister. Many criticize Joel Osteen because of his prosperity theology. I don’t agree with his theology but I like the way he approaches his congregation. He has a talent to open people’s mind. I tried to apply the way he used to my congregation. 

Even though fictional or non-fictional clergy are helpful to my ministry, I can’t apply all their ministry methods to my ministry because there is a gap between mediatized clergy and the clergy whom their congregation wants to have.

My current ministry setting is very unique. It is neither like a traditional immigrant Korean church nor an American church because there are various cultural gaps. My church is located near an Air force Base. So my church has current and retired soldiers with their Korean wives whom they married in Korea when they were on oversea duty in Korea.

Hansam Korean Church Sumter, SC

Also, some in this church are Korean immigrants. There are three different cultures in my church which are the Americans, Koreans and those of Korean-American culture.  The husbands and the wives in my church have the same faith. But it doesn’t necessarily mean there is no cultural gap causing conflicts. Even though they have the same faith, the ways they practice their faith are different.

What do they want and what do they need? They don’t ask me to follow their favorite TV preachers. They don’t expect me to work like a Televangelist. They are not under the assumption that my church and my ministry would do the same things as megachurches did. They want a pastor who knows their spiritual demands.

They want me to be approachable and they need a pastor who knows their hearts. So here, a pastoral authority comes from personal charisma rather than the office or education. My ministry here could be described as “The ministry of presence” I heard the term "The ministry of presence" in Chaplain school at first. 

Bishop Joe E. Pennel Jr said, "The ministry of presence is a way of “being” rather than a way of “doing” or “telling.” As we prepare to be with those who suffer we should not think about what to say or what to do. We should not anticipate how to react if certain situations should develop. Instead, we should inwardly prepare ourselves to focus on the “now” with feeling and care."  

In Korea, my ministry or the job I had was to do was teaching, coaching and lead the congregation.  So the term "The ministry of presence" was unfamiliar to me. However, it was a great insight and enabled me to get the direction of my current ministry. And I found the reason that why some clergy in cultural representation were loved because they were with their sheep. 

Not because their pastoral performance, preaching and ability but because their ministry of presence made people satisfied and enjoyable their ministry. This was which was learned by clergy in cultural representation but the clergy in cultural representation can’t do. 

Combined service with an American Church

4) Good to go  

As an immigrant in this country, I got nervous when a clerk called me at the DMV, hospitals, airports, social worker offices and so on because they all kept telling me to add some documents, fill out more forms, and write down something. I remember the moment when after taking citizenship test, finally I heard “Good to go”, I breathed out a sigh of relief. As for me, “Good to go” means to finish up an old stage and to start a next stage or a new phase. 

So being a good-to-pastor means that I am ready for the next step of my ministry.  As time goes by, I am sticking to the question of what the essence of pastoring is. I asked myself “What do I have to do before God as a pastor? 

What does my congregation really wants me to do? What kind of expectation people have toward my church?” These are not easy questions to answer because the demands of everyone are different and they have many types of desires as many as their number of people. 

To be a good-to-go pastor for the next stage, I realize that I have to deal with  the four different types of pastors who always follow me like a shadow in my office.  One is a No-go pastor, the current me who have the experience, education, calling to the ministry and authority from the office.  Another one is the congregation-expected pastor who has to meet the expectations set by the congregation. 

That pastor speaks for them through a phone or email which conveys the people’s need or demands. He let me know what I have to do and what I should pay attention to. Another one is the Ideal pastor in the Bible who gives me the final direction and the standard I should follow. 

The last is a mediatized pastor who he is invisible as well and shaped by cultural representations. Actually I didn't realize that I have a mediatized pastor next to me even though I was affected him knowingly or unknowingly because I have never thought about him. This class helped me to find this pastor who secretly affected me for a long time. 

I can hate him or love him but one thing for sure is that I can’t ignore him because I live in a mediatized world. Even now many facebook pastors introduced their ministries and their life. He will always follow me and I will be affected both in a positive way or negative way. 

He is the mirror of my ministry and can give me an advice. It is great to get to know him and now he is a recognizable crew who joined my sailing of ministry. Actually he already got on the board with me but I didn't notice him. My three pastors including mediatized pastor and I will work together to help me to go through my journey of ministry as a “good to go” pastor. 

                         You don't have to watch the entire video :)